Personality Disorders & Emotional Regulation

You Are Not “Too Much”—Your Emotions Make Sense

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” “too intense,” or “too difficult,” you might have started to believe it. 

Maybe you feel emotions deeply but struggle to regulate them. 

Maybe your relationships feel like a constant push and pull—craving connection but fearing abandonment. 

Maybe your sense of self shifts depending on the day, the situation, or who you’re around.

Here’s the truth: You are not broken.

Personality disorders aren’t about being “difficult” or “manipulative”—they’re often the long-term effects of trauma, emotional neglect, or nervous system dysregulation (Ford & Courtois, 2021). 

Many of the traits the DSM labels as personality disorders—intense emotions, difficulty trusting others, patterns of self-sabotage—are also natural responses to chronic trauma (Herman, 1997). 

In other words, your brain and body adapted to survive, even if those adaptations no longer serve you.

The good news? 

You can learn to regulate your emotions, trust yourself, and build relationships that feel safe.

💡 Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re trying to tell you something. 

Let’s work on making them feel manageable.

What We Support

Borderline Personality Traits & Emotional Dysregulation

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is one of the most misunderstood diagnoses in mental health. 

Many traits associated with BPD—intense emotions, fear of abandonment, difficulty with self-regulation—are actually common in complex PTSD survivors (van der Kolk, 2014). 

This is why many people diagnosed with BPD don’t respond well to traditional personality disorder treatments but do improve with trauma-focused care (Ford & Courtois, 2021).

🔹 Signs of Emotional Dysregulation & BPD Traits:

• Intense emotions that shift rapidly and feel hard to control
• Fear of rejection or abandonment—even in stable relationships
• Chronic feelings of emptiness or identity confusion
• Impulsive behaviors (spending, risky choices, self-sabotage) as a way to cope
• Difficulty managing anger, shame, or feelings of being “too much”

💡 Your emotions make sense given what you’ve been through. 

Let’s work on emotional regulation, not self-blame.

Avoidant & Dependent Personality Traits: When Fear Shapes Connection

Personality disorders exist on a spectrum, and many symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD) and Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) are rooted in early experiences of neglect, rejection, or enmeshment (Young et al., 2003). 

These patterns aren’t flaws—they’re survival mechanisms that helped you navigate relationships in environments where you may not have felt safe.

🔹 Signs of Avoidant & Dependent Patterns:

• Struggling with deep social anxiety and fear of rejection
• Avoiding close relationships but craving connection
• A tendency to over-rely on others for emotional security
• Feeling helpless or anxious when alone for long periods
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism or perceived disapproval

💡 You deserve relationships that feel safe—without losing yourself. 

Let’s explore what that looks like for you.

Narcissistic & Antisocial Traits: When Protection Looks Like Control

There’s a lot of stigma around Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)—but what often gets ignored is that these patterns can emerge as trauma adaptations (Cozolino, 2014). 

When vulnerability wasn’t safe—when expressing emotions led to harm, neglect, or rejection—some people learn to survive by shutting down their emotions or controlling their environment.

🔹 Signs of Protective Emotional Patterns:

• Struggling with empathy or emotional connection due to early emotional neglect
• Needing to feel in control of situations and people to feel safe
• A tendency to push people away before they can hurt you
• Feeling like vulnerability = weakness
• Avoiding deep emotions by focusing on external success, power, or validation

💡 You don’t have to stay in survival mode. 

Let’s work on feeling safe with emotions.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

Many people who meet criteria for personality disorders don’t actually have a “disordered personality”—they have a nervous system stuck in survival mode. The brain adapts to past pain by developing coping mechanisms that seem rigid or extreme, but are actually deeply logical responses to trauma.

With the right support, you can:

✅ Regulate emotions without shutting them down or feeling overwhelmed

✅ Break cycles of fear, avoidance, or impulsivity in relationships

✅ Develop a stable sense of self that isn’t defined by others’ approval or rejection

✅ Feel safe expressing emotions without fearing abandonment or rejection

✅ Heal old relational wounds so you can build connections that feel supportive

💡 You don’t have to change who you are—you just need tools to navigate emotions differently. 

Let’s start that process together.

How We Can Help

🧠 Nervous System Regulation & Emotional Stability

• Learning somatic techniques to calm emotional intensity in real-time
• Understanding triggers & trauma responses so you don’t feel out of control
• Practicing self-compassion instead of shame

💬 Trauma-Informed Therapy for Emotional Regulation

• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for distress tolerance and relationship skills
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Parts Work for self-understanding
• Mindfulness & nervous system retraining to reduce emotional overwhelm

🛠 Practical Skills for Managing Relationships

• Learning healthy boundary-setting (without guilt or fear)
• Working through abandonment fears & attachment wounds
• Developing communication skills that help relationships feel safe

💡 You are not too much. Your emotions are not wrong. 

Let’s work on emotional balance together.

References

Cozolino, L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain. W. W. Norton & Company.

Ford, J. D., & Courtois, C. A. (2021). Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders: Scientific Foundations and Therapeutic Models. Guilford Press.

Herman, J. L. (1997). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide. Guilford Press.