How to Get the Eff through Election Week
About a week ago – thanks to a post I’d made about early voting – I found myself on the wrong side of Instagram.
I’d stated that mental health is a political issue – and impulsively hash tagged the folks who got my presidential vote.
Because ADHD and excitement and advocacy and…well, you get it.
But the consequence of that 10 letter hashtag was a week-long anthropological deep dive and back-and-forth with folks whose views are opposite of mine.
Who’s views don’t see me as a person.
So as we prepare for the fallout of tomorrow’s election, I want to impart on you some things I’ve learned as a person, parent, and therapist, some things I’ve done, and some things I will do to cope with the stress and chaos of the indefinite future.
Talk to Your Family and Close Friends
The biggest highlight for me about my own election anxiety is that I felt like I couldn’t trust the people I love to make a decision that will honor my humanity or keep my family safe.
I hail from a conservative town in the Midwest. Most of my family live in places where hate speech is still part of the everyday vernacular. You don’t talk about your feelings or politics – you just spill the tea about everybody else.
And so, up until last week, I’d never had an explicit conversation with either of my parents, siblings, or the women in my family about how their political decisions impact me or my little unit.
But I did.
And it made a difference.
It started conversations, gave me reassurances, and also began a more open conversation where we can talk about things that matter.
Because even if their vote would have put a harmful human in office, that’s information that I can use to draw boundaries around future access to me, my energy and my effort.
Hold Your Community Close
While all this was happening, I had the pleasure of circle keeping for our Tex Support: Election Anxiety edition – Prism’s Collaboration with Democrasexy and OutWellness to come together in community to share, process, and simply be together as people who are negatively impacted by the state of Texas.
The circle portion of Tex Support is rooted in Restorative Practices, which – and I will say this forever – are the antidote to colonialism and capitalism.
Restorative Practices have Seven Core Principles, but the ones I think are most important in this moment are:
“All humans have gifts. Everyone is needed for what they bring.
“Everything we need to make positive change is already here.
“We need practices to build habits of living from the core self.”
What these say to me in combination, is that no matter the outcome of the election, we are important, valuable and worthy.
We’re needed not just for knowledge and skill, but also for our humanity.
And positive change will come as long as we’re building habits to stay connected and actively working with those who lift our spirits and light up our souls and bring joy to our lives.
So tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that…
As you’re feeling anxious, isolated, and afraid, send that text message to a friend to check in – because I can guarantee that they’re feeling the same.
Check in, check in, check in.
Give hugs.
Text memes.
Send food.
Nurture your community, because connection destroys isolation.
Distraction Is Okay
Taking a break from the news cycle is okay – even on election day.
The results of the election likely won’t be finalized until Wednesday at the very earliest, so there is no reason to stay glued to your phone.
Unplug.
Go on a walk.
Put yourself in nature.
Snuggle your dog.
Watch your favorite movie.
Do things that you normally would do, because this is a time of upheaval and grief, and we need the routine rhythms of life to keep us on track.
Make a Plan – Well, Two
Plan #1 – Worst Case Scenario
One of the activities we did at Tex Support hails from the research around anxiety and catastrophic thinking. I say this like I’m super smart – but really, I think it’s pretty intuitive.
If you’re stuck in that tight, claustrophobic, inescapable spiral of catastrophic thinking, make a plan.
That’s right.
Make a plan for your worst case scenario.
Because odds are, if you’ve got a solid plan for your worst case scenario, you’ve got a plan to cover the rest.
So I want you to grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil and set a timer for five minutes.
For the next five minutes, make a plan for how you would handle your worst case scenario in the election.
…I’ll wait…
What you really did was create a to-do list that will generally improve your quality of life.
But if shit goes down, you don’t have to worry about getting trapped in fight/flight/freeze because you’ve already made a good starter list for stuff that has to happen in order to manage the catastrophe.
Plan #2 – Cope Ahead Strategies
Tomorrow and the following days are going to be rough.
Everybody is going to be heightened, anxious, volatile.
We won’t be our best.
And trying to regulate while everybody’s energy is humming at a higher frequency while off-key requires an inordinate amount of energy.
So plan for that.
And what I mean is, create a plan for this week that basically treats you like you’re sick with a sinus infection or the flu or even a mild case of COVID.
On the back of the paper you just used, I want you to answer the following questions:
- How much sleep do I need when I’m under the weather?
- What do I eat when I’m sick?
- What do I drink when I’m not feeling well?
- What do I wear when I’m on the mend?
- What sorts of things I do when I’m feeling poorly?
- What do I watch, listen to, read when I’m sick?
- Who do I talk to when I’m not feeling well?
- What are some things I rely on to help me feel better?
Now, I don’t think you’re sick – and I’m certainly not wishing that on you.
But I am trying to help you make a Self Care Plan with some cope ahead strategies that acknowledge that the amount of energy required to get through this week is similar to being physically on the mend.
So, take the answers to these questions and make your kit.
Plan your bedtime.
Do that grocery order or meal plan or takeout order.
Pick out those comfy clothes.
Watch those feel good or nostalgic movies.
Call your bestie.
Snuggle your childhood stuffy.
In tough times, we rely on old favorites for a reason – and hopefully this list will help you do some preparation before the real stress hits.
But every plan needs to accommodate your baseline physiological needs FIRST: are you sleeping, eating, hydrated, and feeling physically safe in your immediate surroundings?
Once you take care of those non-negotiables, fill in the rest.
Remember Change Takes Time
No matter the outcome of the election, the current administration still has a transfer of power at the end of the year. Nothing happens tomorrow.
No matter the outcome of the election, the political system moves at a relatively glacial pace. Checks and balances exist for a reason – and usually do their jobs in slowing down human impulsivity. It is our constant and immediate access to information that creates this false sense of urgency.
No matter the outcome of the election, there are people, organizations, and institutions that will continue to fight for the rights and freedoms of all. We are here today, we will be here tomorrow, and we will keep on grinding because it’s the right thing to do.
Revisit Your Values
The Seven Core Principles of Restorative Practices:
- The true self in everyone is good, wise, and powerful
- The world is profoundly interconnected
- All humans have a deep desire to be in a good relationship
- All humans have gifts. Everyone is needed for what they bring
- Everything we need to make positive change is already here
- Human beings are holistic
- We need practices to build habits of living from the core self
Time and time again, these are things I know to be true.
I rely on these principles as a compass when I’m lost and as a comfort when I’m scared.
I hope they bring you some comfort, too.
Reach Out
This next week no doubt is going to be hard. If you are feeling unsafe, need someone to talk to, or if you’re concerned about someone else – please let us know. We will do our very best to hold space for whatever you may bring.